Recently I’ve been having vivid, emotionally intense dreams. 

This is rare for me. 

A few nights ago I dreamed I was back in college.  It must have been my senior year because I had final classes to attend and papers due.  But I didn’t know where anything was, and there weren’t any familiar faces who might remind me what I needed to be doing.  On top of that, I had left my phone and notebook in my car (which happened to be our current red Prius).  But now I had forgotten where the parking lot was on campus.  When someone finally directed me to the main parking lot I found the spot where my car should have been, but there was a different red car there.  So there I was, standing alone in the parking lot without a car, phone, notebook, or any clue where I was supposed to be going and what I was supposed to be doing.  It was an intense feeling of isolation.

That’s about when I woke up. 

Given the state of affairs right now, the meaning of this dream, if that’s what you call it, is painfully obvious.  But it was still a bit surprising.  Isolation hasn’t been a prominent part of my waking consciousness.  I’ve actually been enjoying more time at home.  Although I miss social gatherings and generally enjoy activities, I have not lamented all cancellations and have appreciated a less scripted schedule.  I’ve had good energy to do around-the-house projects I had initially projected on a much longer timeline. 

But that dream, and several others that have presented other intense emotions, have stayed with me during day time consciousness, blurring the lines between what I think I’m feeling and what I might actually be experiencing on a deeper level.    

I’m guessing there’s a lot going on just under the surface these days for a lot of us.  Maybe it comes out in your dreams.  Maybe, in a conversation, you hear yourself say something you didn’t know you were thinking, but once you say it, it is painfully, or wonderfully, obvious.  Busy or bored, I wish you attentiveness to whatever is trying to present itself through that thin nebulous line between the conscious and the unconscious. 

Joel

PS.  I just saw this on the NYTimes and share with you – my favorite therapist-with-a-podcast Esther Perel in a 5 minute video titled: “We all are grieving”